最近两个清华的老朋友要写申请，想看我当时申Berkeley的个人自述。她们两位强人都非常客气，说什么“借鉴”和“学习”。
我对于自述是这样看的：
“借鉴的话就不敢说了，我就随便写了写高中时怎么被那个三八女主人折磨，然后克服困难努力学习的事。每个人都不同的。
申请研究生和申请本科的Personal Statements 好像完全是两回事。申请本科的着力点是放在自己的性格发展上的，而申请研究生再写那种煽情的东西就要被人笑了，申请研究生主要是展示自己超人的智慧，独特的思考，和与导师相似的研究兴趣。
打个比方，高中生还可以讲自己怎么在贫困艰苦、父母双亡的环境下长大。大学生再扯这种东西来换取同情就太假了，因为各个都是住宿舍的，再艰苦也艰苦不到哪里去。
个人见解，仅作参考。”
今天翻箱倒柜终于把这个古老的文件从备份硬盘里找了出来。下午很自嘲地读了一些片段给Clive听，两个人都笑癫了。读着读着，顿时觉得自己长大了很多，看着2005年10月写的东西觉得高中离自己已经很远了，那时稚嫩的文风，单纯的理想现在看来是多么可笑。Clive也讲了讲他的自述，然后两个人再次笑癫了。
自述的大致要求和题目我都一一在下面陈列了。用力笑，不要给我面子。
1,000 word limit (Two-200 word, One 600 word)
While it is acceptable to receive feedback or helpful suggestions, applicants’ personal statements should reflect your own ideas and be written by you alone.
Avoid lists of accomplishments.
Do not manufacture hardships.
Think critically about your application’s content.
Identify personal and academic experiences as worthy of reflection and analysis.
Give concrete examples to support your assertions.
Connect the issues raised by the application to the responses provided in your personal statement.
Think like an admissions reader.
1. How have you taken advantage of the educational opportunities you have had to prepare for college?
Rationale:The UC’s seeks to enroll students who take initiative in pursuing their education (e.g. developing a special interest in science, language or the performing arts; or becoming involved in special programs such as EAOP, MESA,Puente, COSMOS or other similar programs).This question seeks to understand a student’s motivation and dedication to learning.
I came from China to Moorpark High School as a 10th grader.My English was extremely limited. I took the PSAT in October, 2003 and got 30 for my Verbal portion – ranking in the 7th percentile nationwide. Every page of the textbooks and every lecture of my classes contained so many foreign words that I had much difficulty comprehending the material. However, my English improved quickly with the help of a dictionary that is now falling apart from overuse and several light bulbs that burned themselves to black. My academic course progression reflects my improvement. I went from English Language Development first semester to English 2 College Preparation second semester to English 3 Advanced Placement in my junior year. In October, 2004, I took PSAT again and got 64 for Verbal –ranking in the 94th percentile nationwide. Now, I am a senior embracing my ultimate high school challenge, the nation’s premier academic competition,Academic Decathlon. In the November competition, I had the highest individual score in Ventura County, but the most important things I have gained from Academic Decathlon have been friendships with teammates, study skills, and knowledge of a rigorous interdisciplinary curriculum.
2. Tell us about a talent,experience, contribution or personal quality you will bring to the University of California?
Rationale: UC welcomes the contributions to each student brings to the campus learning community. This question seeks to determine an applicant’s academic or creative interests and potential to contribute to the vitality of the University. (personal qualities)
I was brought up in China. I love my motherland. I love my people and my culture. I will never forget the excellent Chinese traditions of perseverance, thrift, and respect for elders. I came to America at age sixteen,an age that was old enough for me to keep my old culture but young enough to learn the new. I learned about the culture, the history, and the people of this new country. Soon, I fell in love with America. I appreciate and admire the deep-rooted democratic ideals; I am also profoundly fascinated with the idea of freedom. I am passionately patriotic to both countries. I pledge allegiance to the Stars and Stripes while I keep the red flag with golden stars by my bed. In this new century, as China is emerging as the world’s next super power, we need thousands of people who are open-minded and able to bridge these two great nations that have such different social structures, ideologies, and cultures but that also have so many commonalities in personal values and dreams. I would feel extremely fortunate to have the pride, the privilege, and the pleasure to be that bridge, a bridge from the University of California, Berkeley.
3. Is there anything you would like us to know about you or your academic record that you have not had the opportunity to describe elsewhere in the application?
Rationale: This question seeks to give students the opportunity to share important aspects of their schooling or their lives—such as their personal circumstances, family experiences and opportunities that were or were not available at their school or college—which may not have been sufficiently addressed elsewhere, in the application.
“Get out of here and go back to China! See the fly over there? It is all because of you! Why are you such a spoiled stupid baby?” Her screams were like those of harpies – screeching, screeching – enough to bash my ear drums like an entire marching band. A slender vein in her forehead was throbbing against her skin.She did not stop. Why could she not stop? Her rage was over a dish I accidentally forgot to cover after lunch.
Three months earlier, my parents had sent me alone so I could be educated in the United States. I had to live with a family of strangers, I spoke little English, and I felt alone and friendless. The hostess of the family was not a compassionate human being, and I felt like I was a prisoner in her home. I had to depend on her to provide me with food and shelter. Given my absolute dependence on her, she abused her absolute authority. She blackmailed my family, asking for two thousand dollars a month. She yelled at me for tiny reasons and threatened to kick me out of the house. She made my life miserable and insecure.
And now she was screaming at me again over a dirty dish. I was terrified. I had nowhere else to go. I cried; I fell to my knees, feeling like a beggar who had nowhere to turn. How could I keep my dream alive living in this nightmare?
At that time, two imaginary sides battled each other in my mind trying to persuade me to take their courses of action. Mr. Pillow encouraged me to give up and take the easy way out of the horrible situation.Mr. Wing wanted me to persevere, to fight against the odds.
Mr. Pillow argued, “Go, and let’s go home. Your parents, your friends, and your favorite food are all waiting for you to go home. You will never have to live like a prisoner again. Why do you stay here to live under her glares while you can receive a warm hug from your parents every day?”
Mr. Wing countered, “Remember when you were very little, you loved to listen to the stories of great heroes who overcame difficulties and reached the peak. Magellan’s story was your favorite, with his circumnavigation of the globe costing him men and ships during storms followed by months of starvation crossing the Pacific. Magellan died before completing his journey,but he became a hero for his attempt and his bravery. You need to keep trying and show courage. Someday, you can help these two great nations of China and the U.S. set aside their mistrust and misunderstandings and build an everlasting friendship based upon mutual interests. Now, you must endure and persevere.”
I stood up, wiped off my tears, and said to myself, “Yes,everything can be against me. However, to fulfill my dream, even if there is only one percent chance of reaching the goal, I will give one hundred percent effort and will have the courage to keep trying.”
I soon found that things work out if we stay positive. My tormentor kicked me out of the house on October 26, 2004, making me homeless. On that day, my high school counselor, Mr. Rauch, took pity, opened his heart, and accepted me as a part of his family. I have lived a happy life ever since.Thank you, Mr. Wing. You should always be the most powerful voice in my head. Thank you, Mr. Rauch. Without your help, the dream would already be dead.
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